Intenselynews.com – How do I change myself? Sometimes I am emotional when I do not want to be! Sometimes I get angry while it is not needed! Sometimes I am afraid to speak and wish I was not afraid! Sometimes I am ………..Who I am, but how can I become who I want to be?
When I was younger I did everything on instinct and how I was raised. I behaved like I thought was right and learned this from my environment like my father, my mother, my family, friends, my teachers, etc, etc, but also from TV and other things.
Then when I became a teenager I was rebelling against those customs or views of life that I didn’t want and some of them I solved and some of them became everlasting challenges, that we mostly put aside and say that is part of my character.
I guess everyone knows this, especially when we talk about religion, points of view, opinions, customs, and the way we become emotional. In general, we copied that from everyone that had influence in our childhood and will keep on copying that while we meet new people of interest when we mature. Later in life, these things that I thought were part of my character sometimes stood in the way of my life, like my job, my hobby, my love, my new friends, my children. So I started looking for a way of life that suited this character of mine or who I thought I was. In the beginning, this was adventurous and full of confidence. I am who I am so take it or leave it, that was the general attitude towards my environment.
How Do I Change Myself?
Only when I was at home alone or in my own space, these times I was annoyed by what I did or said or how I behaved myself and sometimes even felt sorry for myself and wished I could be someone else. To do things differently than how my character let me do it!
One of my unique competencies was that I always had to stick my nose in someone else’s business and also always had the urge to help those in need by my own choice or I was just curious because the situation I saw interested me. This brought me to many educational situations where I learned a lot about why other people did the things they did, what drove them, how their characters influenced that and how they could solve their situations to achieve their goals. Next to the fact that I bumped my nose sometimes really hard in doing this, I also started learning about how you can influence others in their benefit and I started using this in my work in helping people, coaching people, managing people, leading people, and motivating people.
After a decade of doing this purely on instinct, there was this situation that changed my whole life. As stubborn as I was and convinced I knew more as others, someone convinced me to train myself more on the psychology of communication from one of the best experts for this in our country. At first, I didn’t want to, because I believed I am who I am and take it or leave it!
BUT, when I joined the course I learned this was not only about communication on how to talk. It was also about how we could read behavior and how we should understand this behavior in combination with the way others communicate and this way truly understand the person in front of us. Because of the interest in the subject, this really made an impact on me. Suddenly I started to understand others better. Not only when they communicate about their vision or what they actually meant, but also who they truly were and how their character influenced their behavior. Knowing more about their past, their triggers, their psyches, made me understand also how they could change the outcome of certain situations or challenges that they were facing.
While knowing this I was able to coach, train and guide people by turning their points of view, characters, and emotions sometimes 180 degrees of who they thought they were, and this way influenced people to let them do things that they thought was impossible for them.
I also started to understand my own challenges better and learned to control these things that I normally assumed I couldn’t change, because that was part of me like it was glued in my character and being. After a few years of practicing this, I learned that who I was, was not set. I learned that my character and all who I am, was undefined and free for me to choose every day, in every situation. My character, my emotional triggers, my psyche, it was all free for me to choose to achieve the result that I wanted! And I am not talking only about my visions, opinions, knowledge, or such matters, I am also referring to my character, my emotions, my personal triggers.
All this started to let me see the whole world from a totally different perspective. In my private life, my relationship with my partner, children and family, my friends, and at my work. Everywhere where there were people involved that could form an opinion of me, I was now able to control almost all in how I wanted to be understood or how I wanted to feel about things.
- I learned who I wanted to be in any situation and how I wanted people to see me.
- I learned how to become who I wanted to be in any situation and how to achieve that and to learn how to do that!
- I learned I could influence any situation to make the world more positive for myself and now after doing this for more than 15 years all the challenges I thought I had, because of who I was and how I felt and what I believed, suddenly were gone!
Most important of all, because of this now I am free of stress, depression, demotivation, and always have the energy to do anything and learn many new things by trial and error by only focusing on the positive impact on myself and my environment as I want it to be!
I do realize that not everyone can be like this and still need to learn a lot to be able to make the smallest changes and some will never learn as I also still need to learn a lot next to all I know already.
That’s why I want to offer you my help and support. Do you recognize yourself in this story or part of this story then feel free to ask me anything?
If you want I could also coach you on your life, your challenges or even your business.
Then I will teach you to take control of what bothers you the most of yourself. Or how to handle difficult situations with others.
Thank you for reading my column and hope to speak to you soon.
With love and gratitude
from: Damy Heezen